June 17, 2017 / by Callum Poingdester / Products / No Comments

Eyelash extensions – could you get any more self-involved?

Today, I came across a Gilt City Deal for eyelash enhancements. At the point that anyone is spending not just time but significant amounts of money on the hairs intended to keep dust from settling in your eyes, that person has too much money and time.

Dont get me wrong I love a spa treatment. I get facials and massages on a regular basis and I enjoy the occasional mani-pedi. But EYELASHES? Facials are good for your skins. Massages are good for the mind and the body. Pedicures are actually rather good for your feet. I cant justify the manicures, but they do make my nails look nice. But I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would spend money to have someone attend to my eyelashes.

Theres mascara. Isnt that all I really need? Could eyelashes REALLY be so short that they need extensions? And then, of course, theres that made-up condition that Brooke Shields keeps telling us about: thin or insufficient lashes. Puh-leeese. Id love to see the reaction from the insurance company to a claim for treatment for insufficient lashes. Wheres my red pen? DENIED!

I think eyelash extensions are a sign that we are increasingly turning inward. Cell phone obsession is bad enough (I hate seeing two people in a restaurant both looking at their cell phones if you would rather be in touch with someone OTHER than the person youre with right now, you should not be out with that person) but obsessing about your eyelashes to the point that youd make an appointment, visit a professional and pay money to have them be longer and fuller and whatnot, iswellpathetic. How can you care so much about something that matters so little? And that can be addressed quickly and efficiently (and in the privacy of your own home) withMASCARA??? I gotta say, I am not a fan of false eyelashes. They look false. They make the wearer look a little like a camel (sorry, Beyonce and Michelle Obama they just do) and NO ONE seems to understand that youre supposed to trim them.

The saddest thing is that I used to be bothered by fake nails and hair extensions (which I still think are weird and creepy someone elses hair attached to yours? Ick!) but people have become even more peculiar.

Ugh. Back to reviewing the pre-fall Bazaar. If just one person tries to justify eyelash extensions, Im going to cover my ears and just yell la la la la la!!! I cant hear you! I cant hear you! Consider yourselves warned.

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